There is still a trick or two we can teach the Americans about how to make a vibrant democracy work more vibrantly. But even we have to grudgingly admit that Americans are quick learners, and after 200 years they're finally getting the hang of it. Both the Donkey Party and the Elephant Party are following all the cardinal rules that have been perfected in Nepal for post-election hoo-hah.

Cardinal Rule #1: Never accept an election result if you are losing.

Cardinal Rule #2: Accuse the incumbent of rigging, ballot-tampering, booth capturing so you can order hand recounts.

Cardinal Rule #3: Immediately pronounce elections free and fair if you are winning.

Cardinal Rule #4: Have ready a list of epithets to hurl at opponents in hastily arranged press conferences.

Cardinal Rule #5: Vote counting should last at least three weeks after election day.

It is good to see that just as in Nepal, democracy is alive and kicking in America. But there are still things in our democratic arsenal that the Americans have yet to master. And we will waive our intellectual property rights over these great ways to enforce democracy on reluctant citizens:

. The freedom to burn tyres at corner meetings. Not only are these rubber bonfires great ways to keep warm in winter, they also incinerate trash that would otherwise clog up our landfills.

. The freedom to block roads. Nepalis have perfected ingenious ways to use national highways as an imaginative fund-raising tool. Pro-democracy supporters have now extended this to activities such as blocking the runway in Jomsom.

. Choosing large international wildlife gatherings and biotechnology conferences to showcase democracy in action to our distinguished foreign visitors.

. Chukka jams. Notwithstanding the fact that our chukkas are stuck in traffic jams most days anyway, our freedom fighters have found ways to enforce spontaneous ways to gridlock traffic so that we can burn the greatly more expensive fuel in even greater quantities to protest the fuel price hike.

. Valley bandh. This is something the Americans can pick up from us right away: have a strike in Silicon Valley and block the information superhighway.

. One-day Nepal bandh. This is when the whole country is forced to voluntarily enjoy a national holiday and a car-free day so that our distinguished foreign visitors can breathe clean air while they are in Nepal.

. Two-day Nepal bandh. If one day is not enough to clean up the air, we close the country down for two days.

. One-week Nepal bandh. We haven't tried this one yet, but the Gore and Bush campaigns can leapfrog all the intermediary steps and declare a one-week bandh from sea to shining sea. After all, no price is too great to protect our democratic way of life.