BRB is making real progress towards Year Zero by turning the clock back on Bikram Sambut and replacing it with the Gregorian calendar. During the war, the Mau Mau blew up buildings, and in govt they are continuing the demolition. Who needs diesel when there is such a Napoleonic restructuring of Kathmandu's streets? And how about replacing Tribhuvan with an idol of Comrade Yummy?

It was repeated so often in 2011 it became conventional wisdom that BRB was pragmatic and PKD was dogmatic. The way Comrade Awe-inspiring is capitulating on everything he fought for and has resolved nearly all the 200 contentious issues in the draft constitution just by snapping his fingers, shows this man is in a tearing hurry to be the executive prez and will not let his convictions get in the way. Even the dress code shows us who is the hardliner and who is the moderate. How can a man in a parrot green Salewa goose down powertex jacket be a hardliner? Meanwhile, there is BRB who is always wearing black, has a dour demeanour, and wants to recreate the destruction wrought on Kathmandu by the Nabbe Sal quake.

We've now figured out why Brazil has decided to open an embassy in Kathmandu of all places. It's not out of solidarity for the Non-Aligned Movement, but because of a surge in bilateral trade. Nepal's imports of Brazilian chicken drumsticks have grown ten-fold in the past year because of the opening of KFC outlets in the city. And Nepali manufacturers are also gearing up to meet the demand for zillions of crazy hats for the Football World Cup in Rio in 2014. The Brazilian Embassy should be located in Bhaktapur, where there is a great fan following and the entire town was festooned with Brazilian flags during the last world cup.

Just for the record, here is the latest status of the factionalism within the three factions of the Mao Buddies:

1. The PKD Faction is now divided into three sub-factions:
a) Comrade Horrible and Comrade Ugly want Awesome to do it alone and be almighty
b) Some comrades still want PKD to patch up with Kiran the Baidya
c) Rain Man and others want PKD to side with BRB

2. The Baidya Faction also has three schools of thought:
a) Com Kiran himself is now against a party split
b) Comrade Cloudy and Comrade See Pee want to formally split
c) Comrade Big Flop wants the party to go back to war

3. The BRB Faction is the weakest because it has only two sub-factions:
a) One that wants Laldhoj to align with Baidya the Kiran
b) The Other One that wants to stay with The Fierce One

(Fine Print: The above alignments are subject to change without notice and management is not responsible for the consequences.)

A Dalit is murdered in Kalikot. The Dalit caucus obstructs parliament, declares bands and brings the country to a halt. It gets the Mao-led cabinet to agree to declare the man a martyr and release Rs 1 million compensation. But when human rights groups went to Kalikot to investigate they found out that the man was killed during a brawl at a local bhatti where a group of Baddies were drunk as skunks. The killer and killee were both Mao Buddies. During the war, these same comrades had declared Kalikot "dry". Go figure.

Our ministers either need a crash course in English-speaking, or they need to take an interpreter on their next foreign trip so that things are not lost in translation during high-level meetings with foreign heads of state. One of the reasons Wen Jiabao called off his visit was because Kaji Naran Kamred came across as bluntly ordering Premier Wen around in Pidgin. Our Farang Ministry should replace bodyguards with Nepali to Chinese interpreters on future visits.