BHIM GURUNG

The big question this week is not why Wen Jaibao scrubbed his Nepal visit at the last moment, it is about whether or not Prime Minister Ram Babu is finally going to dump his Mustang after getting car sick on Wednesday. As anyone who has ridden this deshi SUV knows, its road handling capacity leaves much to be desired. The Mustang is built to carry twice the legal passenger capacity on the Beni-Marpha road in the monsoon. Not surprising, therefore, that after negotiating some hairpin bends on the Naubise downhill at 75kmph, the Comrade Right Honourable Prime Minister started throwing up. Or is Mr Lal Dhoj simply getting sick and tired of it all?

Good to see former guerrilla chieftains have turned into boy scouts. And there was the prime minister himself decked up not in combat fatigues, but in khakis reciting the Boy Scout oath with the three-finger salute:
"On my honour I will do my best To do my duty to God and my country…

Here's a thought: instead of integrating them into the army, why didn't we just induct Maoist Tenderfoots from the cantonments into the boy scout movement so they could do their duty to God and country?

Is it just the Ass who is scratching his head when he sees BRB extol the virtues of Sanskrit after spending all these years bombing the country's only Sanskrit University to the ground, or Comrade Brave Top saying he is henceforth going to wear daura suruwal and topi because it symbolises "national unity", or Comrade Awestruck who dispatched people he didn't like to the next life now proclaiming himself to be a Bodhisattva and installing himself as the head honcho of the Lumbini Development Trust?

The Ass takes umbrage at suggestions that the Supply Minister's decision to have dual pricing for diesel is "asinine". And those who call it "hare brained" are seriously insulting all hares. However, the Minister of Undersupply risks undoing the parity in diesel and kerosene, which had stopped adulteration for the past eight years. Besides, it's completely unworkable. Industries will just buy diesel from private suppliers.

After the way we let the trolley bus service go to pot, ran the brick and tile factory to the ground, turned Nepal's first footwear factory into a heart centre, converted the Ring Road green belt into a depot for construction material, guess the Chinese would just be dying to donate us a new airport in Pokhara, take over West Seti and gift five Y-12s to NAC.

Whereas advanced countries have corrupt military deals involving nuclear submarines, it is a sign of our small-is-beautiful mindset that the Nepal Army is currently embroiled in a Biscuit Scam. The Nepal Police is in the throes of an Instant Noodle Scandal. And the Armed Police force is being accused of kickbacks in a major Mosquito Net Deal. Just imagine if we had a navy.

Nepal Tourism Board, a firm believer in the adage 'It's Never Too Late To Get the Worm', has decided to launch an advertising blitz in December to promote Nepal Tourism Year 2011.