It looks like the implied threat from donor governments in Kathmandu that any party organising bunds will be denied funding and/or visas is already doing the trick. Last week, the Youthful Force had announced a bund against a government lead by its own mother party to protest the arrest of their leader for beating up a journalist. It was mysteriously and immediately withdrawn because top leaders of the UML youth wing suddenly realised they'd never be able to overstay their visas in the land of the free and the home of the braves. More ideas for visa deterrence and rewards to finally fix this country:

• Feuding sports council officials will not get British visas for the Olympics
• CA members accused of VAT fraud will be on a Schengen shitlist
• Those making illegal
U-turns on Putali Sadak will not be eligible for DV lottery
• YCL and YF members beating up journalists won't even be allowed into Bihar
• Baddie extortionists get visa to enter the Stalinist paradise of DPRK, but no
exit visa
• CA members selling red passports cannot have Indian ration cards
• Relatives of tiger poachers will not get student visas for Australia (tigers and rhinos can travel without visas to Melbourne Zoo)
• Ministers who are ex-war criminals will get a visa waiver and an all-expenses paid trip to The Hague
• Owners of illegal quarries will get expedited work permits for the Gulag Archipelago
• Those caught stealing electricity will have their request for political asylum in Belgium rejected
• Corrupt NOC and NAC officials and their political bosses will be on the B1 visa watchlist

***

Must admire the hon'ble prime minister for going about his duties as if he doesn't have a care in the world. One month into the three-month extension of the constitution deadline, he has very conveniently forgotten to step down as promised in the 5-pt agreement, the peace processer is sputtering, the budget is uncertain. Yet, JN has all the time in the world to lay the foundation stones, unveil statues, declare Nepal landmine-free and declare Kaski open defecation-free. No wonder PKD wants his job so badly. To Whom It May Concern: henceforth pls invite Upadro Yadav for ribbon cuttings, he hasn't got much to do except dash off periodically to Lithuania and Ulan Batar.

***

And now it's time for our weekly update on the intra-Maoist feud. Despite the show of unity in Rautahat last week, the body language of the Top Three stone-faced leaders was revealing. And how come they arrived in Gaur in two different helicopters from Kathmandu? Either the party is rolling in dough, or the leaders all have their own independent source of funds.

***

PKD had postponed the party's central committee meeting again to buy time to mollify Mohan ("Bad Hair Day") Baidya by inviting him to the Pistachio Palace for a tete-e-tete. But it did not go as planned: Kiran immediately brought up The List of the Chairman's 18 Deviations. Why are you going around meeting phoren intelligence handlers without telling us? You have developed a dangerous personality cult. You are a revisionist of the worst kind. You have belittled the sacrifice of the brave martyrs and of the fighters in the cantonments. You have planted spies in my camp. Awesome tried to turn on his charm, but to no avail. Meanwhile, Deb Kamred and CP Kamred have also raked up history from 20 years ago to prove that PKD has never been sincere towards the revolution and flirted too easily with the Injuns. The Ass' prediction is that the Chairman is going to take another retreat one of these days to Sukute to get sloshed.

***

Baddie students of the Cranti-Curry persuasion have been warning senior leaders not to exhibit bourgeois tendencies by enrolling their kids in private schools, but this hasn't stopped them from doing exactly that. And now that Awesome's grand-dotter is becoming a Xavierite, can others be far behind? Another Baddie scion, Comrade Atom, has refused to go back to the cantonment where he is sub-commandante and has instead ensconced himself as Daddy's PA in the Home Ministry.