All is not lost. Now that elections for prime minister are certain to go on till infinity, it is time to turn our attention to more important matters at hand like Nepal making it once more to the Guinness Book. Look at it this way, at least Khagendra did the nation proud by being officially declared the littlest man in the world. And Nepal Tourism Board got its new mascot for Nepal Tourism Year 2011 with the slogan: "Small Is Beautiful: One Is Not Enough". While we are at it, we could also nominate Khagendra to the post of prime minister and kill two khasis with one stroke.

Someone should start seriously psychoanalysing this country's infatuation with world records. The latest is a Nepali aspirant to a world record in bouncing a basketball. The next thing you know someone in Dharan is going to invent the world's fastest clock and try to make it to the Guinness Book. Or another dude is going to claim to be the first person to climb Mt Everest in his sleep.

So, after being ridiculed for our inability to elect a leader, we should turn this into a positive thing and enter Ram Chandra Poudel in the Guinness Book for losing the most prime ministerial elections, and make him brand ambassador for VNY 2011 as well.

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Speaking of which, there are barely two months to go for one million visitors to start streaming into Nepal. But at least we can heave a sigh of relief that we have completed the new Turd World Golden Gate at the entrance to the airport. Now, we are really ready. Tourists should not be alarmed by the sight of heavily armed soldiers at the airport, they aren't there to put you out of your misery.

Our airport has been designed to give an authentic taste, feel and smell of Nepal as soon as you arrive. The two-hour wait for immigration and visas, and another hour for your baggage, will set you in the right frame of mind for what to expect outside. The authorities have arranged for the world's one and only Antique Taxi Service at the departure concourse, and no cab less than 40 years old is allowed to take you into the city. The Municipality has been smart in arranging  traffic jams all over the capital so that it is impossible for you to see Swayambhu, Boudha and Patan in one day. This means the average stay of visitors during VNY will go up from the current 2.75 days to at least 4 days.

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Alert readers will also have noticed that the interior of the domestic airport has been especially redesigned to resemble the Balkhu Wholesale Goat Market. Tourists wait four hours for the fog to clear so they can go on their one-hour Mountain Flights, and CAAN has cleverly removed all functioning toilets to give the domestic airport a more authentic aroma of Real Nepal. The international departure area, too, has been revamped. A million tourists will have to go through exactly what they went through on arrival, but in reverse order, leaving a lasting impression on dear departing visitors so they'll be tempted to keep coming back for more masochistic punishment.

For those of you who find it difficult to understand the headlines you read in the papers these days, we have paraphrased some of them for you: