Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Out of power, out of mind

ASS


As we brace ourselves for another winter of discontent with at least 12 hours of daily power cuts, what is not so surprising is that none of the political parties have used this against each other. The reason is simple: they have all been in power at one time or other but have done nothing to increase the power we need in the past year.

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However, there is a silver lining. The prime minister can now tell the Climate Summit in Copenhagen that Nepal has voluntarily reduced its energy consumption, thus putting moral pressure on the OECD to do the same. In the run-up to Copenhagen, the Maldivian president held his cabinet meeting underwater. We must also come up with gimmicks to grab headlines, and the Donkey's humble suggestion is to have a cabinet meeting at the top of Mt Everest and call it a 'Climate Summit'.

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Out of power, out of sight, out of mind. That seems to be the way of Nepali politics, which is why everyone wants to cling on power. As King G, Sher Budder, Upadro Yadav all fade from memory, they've all found that mysterious air-dashes to Delhi are the only way to keep themselves in the mass consciousness. Which must be why King-ji is supposed to be planning another India visit next month, Surya Bua just got back and promptly passed on instructions to everyone from the prez down, and there is a new spring in Brave Lion's step. But even that didn't work for Upadro. Poor guy can't make up his mind whether to go in for full throttle agitation along with his bros in the Maobaddies and risk antagonising India, or to keep a low profile and wait for the government to fall on its own.

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The Ass has always maintained that TV channels give too much importance to the activities of our top leaders: who meets whom, who goes where, who sneezes. Why is the media obsessed with the talking heads of the thalus? How many times do we want to listen to Awesome say an agreement is near and the very next day threaten another andolan? We can understand NTV covering every inauguration the netas grace their presence with, but why the other stations? The public is fed up and media owners should realise that such content will now actually bring down ratings. Instead of covering such samarohas, let's uncover them.

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As the Ass predicted, now that she's got what she wanted Suzy Q has shifted from flirting with the Baddies to now blasting them for inviting instability. Bijay the Gachhedar has said 'hami ke kum' and warned that if the Maoists do come into government the Madhesi parties will obstruct parliament for the unforeseeable future.

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Give the devil its due. The comrades have at least been honest this week. First they agreed to the discharge of minors if the disqualified were given pocket money, revealing that all this rehab drama is a scam to keep UNDP employed. Then they said they don't agree with the technical committee's recco to keep the PLA under government control. And now they say their real aim is to lead the government. If not: we will shut down not just parliament but the whole country.

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The quote of the week is from the Mao secretariat: "On 10 November we will block all entry and exit points to the capital, including the airport. But the protests will be peaceful and we don't want to inconvenience the public."

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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