Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Civil society supremacy

ASS


Stalwarts of the civilian society have been demonstrating their supremacy by joining nationwide protests by krantikari buffalos this week. But the buffalo rallies backfired when the animals refused to denounce the president's move. In numerous district headquarters, the buffaloes threw off their presidential impersonators and hoofed it. Several Ram Baran lookalikes were hospitalised. The protests ended up looking like a cross between a rodeo and the Pamplona bull run. They should have just used donkeys.

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Given the new confidence with which Comrade Makunay is fielding questions at tv ambushes, it does look like he is finally getting the chance he has patiently waited for 15 years. In the past, every time he got to within striking distance of PM-ship, MKN has had the rug pulled from under him. Even if he makes it to Baluwatar, it would put Nepal's democracy to shame that after elaborate elections last year we get a new prime minister who was defeated in not just one but both his constituencies. But let's give the man a medal for sheer persistence.

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Bum Dev himself is uncharacteristically quiet these days, and his role in the coalition has raised suspicions within the party that he is actually a Baddie deep penetration agent. Some seniors reportedly refused to discuss sensitive policy matters about party strategy in cobbling a new coalition when Comrade Dwarf Divinity was around at the central committee's caucuses this week. JN apparently agreed to MKN as PM only on condition that he (Jhallu) gets to appoint all other ministers.

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Comrade Ian's return to Nepal has created quite a flutter, with one paparazzi even sneaking in to shoot him sitting with his successor at the Summit the other day. Much as one would like to connect dots, seems the ex-SRSGUN is here to pick up his stuff and take a break from all the Israeli wrath at his report on the bombing of six UN premises in Gaza. Back home, Israeli papers have poured scorn on him, linking that report to revelations in the Shaktikhor Tapes, saying Hamas hoodwinked Ian just as the Maoists duped him in Nepal over actual guerrilla numbers.

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Meanwhile, with Gen Cutwall now firmly ensconced once again at Bhadrakali, the generals are trying to distance themselves from the JMCC verification process. They allege the army's rep in the JMCC, Shivaram Pradhan was a Cool Budder loyalist and therefore a Maoist plant.

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Some expect the new government on Friday, but others say nothing will happen until the outcome of the Indian elections are known over the weekend, especially if Manmohan and Yechury get together again. But anything is possible, including the Maoist compromise formulae: Get Ram Baran to resign, make GPK president, retire off Cool Budder and make Cutwall step down and kick CB upstairs. But then BRB is lobbying actively for PMship. And does a new govt mean we are going to have new ambassador candidates to UK, US and India and hearings all over again? How about the new NRB governor? And Com Yummy's siblings who all got govt jobs? Meanwhile, Nepal's Asstrolgers (the only group that still puts national interest above all else) have pitched in with their prediction that the Maoists won't be leading the government anytime soon because they are under the influence of Saturn, just as Kingji was when he was ousted.

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Chairman Chhabilal is now getting ensnarled in his own doublespeak. He told the Hindu he lobbied hard to get Indian approval to sack the army chief. Wait a minute, isn't he the one complaining about Indian arm-twisting? Squatting in Noida for ten years during the war isn't Indian interference, but when Delhi outflanks him it is. And PKD is on a charm offensive in the Indian media: NDTV for 20 mins, exclusive on CNN-IBN, Hindu, TOI. Why don't we all just accept that this country is only partly sovereign and do away with all the drama?

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As usual, Terrifico was too smart by half. In his bid to woo the Indians he has again ticked off the Chinese by telling the Hindu: 'None of the Chinese delegations came to Nepal at my invitation.' So, to please his cadre, he abuses India, to please India, he calls the Chinese gatecrashers. Way to go.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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