Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Prado and Rado


ASS


Every time the political trinity has a summit and buries the hatchet, you can be sure some mantri or other goes and shoots his mouth off, triggering another avalanche of accusations and counter accusations that reverberates for a week.

***

No sooner had PKD and GPK smoked the peace pipe, and the prime minister assured his ex of house rental, secretariat expenses, health care benefits, and sundry perks, than Cultural Revolution Minister Kirati suggests every Nepali should bear arms to fight southern expansionism. And BRB writes that since anarchy would hasten the day when the Maoists could stage state capture, the current chaos is good for Nepalis. Then Maoist union leader Comrade Lekhnath threatens to "dislocate the spine of anyone who dares stand in our way" (exact quote).

***

But why did Girja Bau have to be so greedy and accept PKD's offer to use tax payers' money to pay for his retirement benefits? In his own devious way, he probly thought he'd pulled a fast one on His Fierceness because while he (Awesome) would think GPK would return the favour and not try to topple his government out of sheer gratitude, he would actually double cross the PM and intensify efforts to oust the Maoists by wooing away the eh-maleys. No wonder the prime minister has a grudging admiration for the Old Fox because Sanu Buwa is actually even more unreliable than he is.

***

The reason Dahal wanted Koirala to accept the perks was to set a precedence so that when he is out of a job, he'd also be eligible. Smart. We hear that while ex-interior minister Sitaula was the middle-man in the PKD-GPK deal and strongly urged his boss to accept it, Sushil Da was dead against saying the Maoists would demand a pound of flesh. And there is also talk of GP striking a secret sweetheart deal for Sujata under which the First Dotter gets Sunsari in a platter in the by-elections.

***

See, no matter who comes to power they always try to get their relatives jobs. Could it be because both words 'Nepal' and 'nepotism' start with the prefix 'nep'? The saga of Comrade Yummy's sis continues as she flits about from KUKL to NPC, and has now been installed at the Lok Sewa. The only fellow in the Yummy household who hasn't yet got a govt job is the family canine, but the Ass hears the mutt too is being groomed to be a sniffer in the Bomb Squad with the rank of Staff Sergeant. In all this, hubby Rambabu has been squeaky clean, going out of his way not to help anyone who is a blood relation, only folks from his Gorkha neighbourhood.

***

One wonders where COAS Cutwall gets his confidence from despite the blistering onslaught from Cloudy and the Comrades on everything from new recruitment to army integration. The general's handshake is extra-firm these days and he seems to have the prime minister in his vice-like grip.

***

Fearsome and The Chief have apparently already agreed mota-moti on a numerical compromise formula, but the PM is waiting till after the PLA anniversary show of strength to break the news in the cantonments.

***

Once again, at a secret Unified Maobaddies meeting this week the cadre poured derision at their comrade leaders going soft and adopting the "Prado and Rado" culture. And the hardcore seems to be trying to sabotage the leadership's overtures to India by deliberately targeting Indian JVs, the latest being the medical college in Pokhara. At the ex-royal Golf Club even the caddies have become baddies. The YCL's energy could be deployed much more constructively if they all got on stationary exercise bicycles installed with dynamos and generated electricity to feed into the grid.

***

There was a time when Nepalis pretending to be Bhutan refugees started arriving at European airports without travel documents to seek political asylum. How the tables have turned. It seems young Bhutani women are in high demand in Jhapa and surrounding districts because local Nepali guys aspire to be accompanying spouses in third country resettlement.

***

Tailpiece: Biratnagar industrialists this week protested frequent chukka jams by (guess what?) staging a chukka jam.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


ADVERTISEMENT



himalkhabar.com            

NEPALI TIMES IS A PUBLICATION OF HIMALMEDIA PRIVATE LIMITED | ABOUT US | ADVERTISE | SUBSCRIPTION | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS OF USE | CONTACT