Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Prachanda pratapi bhupati

ASS


Who on earth has been briefing the UN Security Council on Nepal? In New York this week Dumisani Kumalo asked "all political parties in Nepal to accept the elections results". Get outa here. Hasn't UNMIN told him yet that parties here accept the results? By the way, how come UNMIN is still adding staffers, vehicles and planes when it's time to pack up?

...

First it was the Eurocopter illegally touching down on top of Mt Everest three years ago and marking the highest-ever chopper landing in world history. Since the manufacturers, EADS, didn't have official permission to land on the summit, the feat was never officially recognised. That didn't stop Eurocopter from putting a video of the landing on their website, though (www.eurocopter.com/everest/).

Then last week another Eurocopter sneaked into Nepal, violating our sovereign airspace and landing at Kathmandu airport in a threatening manner. This time it was a US-registered AS365 and the Crooked Aviation Authoritarians of Nepal (CAAN) have impounded the helicopter and put the three-member Indian crew, who couldn't explain whether their flight was an excursion or an incursion, under hotel arrest.

The Ass smells a rat. In other words, the donkey finds it fishy. It was a Eurocopter in both incidents, but the timing was suspicious--just before the Olympic Torch is being taken to the summit of Mt Everest. Is anyone putting two and two together? If this was indeed a dry run to test Nepal's air defence radar for another summit landing, then it succeeded. It proved we don't have one.

If we are to prevent future alien aerial invasions, we need an air force pronto. And maybe anti-aircraft batteries on the Western Cwm.

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You must hand it to the comrades, they are leaning on the Oily Corporation to raise petroleum prices right away, before they come to power. They also have an astounding ability to be everything to everyone. Comrade Awesome told Kantipur in an interview in 2005: "Even if we come to power through a constituent assembly, we will not be trying to be president or prime minister we will send younger comrades to government. We will display statesmanship." At least he got that part about winning the CA right.

At a public hearing at the Khula Munch last week, Comrade Dina was grilled by his own YCL and asked to clarify why the party wasn't allowing them to say "Down with American imperialism and Indian expansionism" anymore. His reply: "The context has now changed."

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After Fearsomeoness addressed Big Business the other day and basically came out of the closet to say that he has always been a secret admirer of Ayn Rand his disciples weren't too surprised. They seem to have been in on it all along. But it did get the UML comrades muttering under their breath at the Shitall Nibas Loktantra binge: "They went to war and had 15,000 people killed, for this?"

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So how come Kamred Laldhoj is not living in the Pistachio Palace anymore and has moved in with Ananta at Quiet Corner? Has co-habitation ended even before it began? All has not been well since PKD found out that if he became the first president of the Republic of Nepal and BB became prime minister, he'd just be a ceremonial prez while Jit Bahadur would be chief exec. Even if the interim constitution is amended, the head of the state will stillbe a figurehead.

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In a few weeks, Nepal will go from being a quasi-kingdom to a capitalist people's republic. And in the palace, Sri Ek is supposed to be trying to cut a deal in the backroom: he'll step off the throne in return for a timetable to vacate Naryanhiti, his assets will not be confiscated, guaranteed a privy purse, get to go to any temple he likes.

ass(at)nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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