Nepali Times
ASS
Backside
Back to 2007

ASS


In a lot of ways, Nepal seems to be back to Sat Sal when the country got rid of its Rana Yoke and replaced it with a Shah Yoke. In 2007 BS there was jubilation about democracy and the country was headed towards a constituent assembly election, ditto in 2007 AD. We never did get a constituent assembly 55 years ago and the donkey\'s sixth sense tells him it will be the same in 2007 Anno Domini.

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So Mr G has nixed King G's plans to head south for the winter exactly as the Ass predicted three weeks ago. Just as well, because someone may need to babysit the CP during his birthday bash on Saturday. Known for his wild ways, the prince has been behaving himself either at the golf course in Gokarna or in Nagarjun before both royal properties are nationalised.

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What is the reason for Girijababu's renewed authoritativeness? On Monday, Girijaji was overheard raising his voice in his meeting with Pushpa Kamalji in Baluwatar, which surprised even the prime minister's personal physician, Dr Madhuji. After all, this is the firstperson in the world to become head of state and government with te help of supplementary oxygen. (Although Fidel Castro comes a close second.)

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In his summit with Prachandababu, the prime minister is reported to have put his foot down on the police and VDC secretaries going back to their posts. It seems His Fierceness had no answer for the prime minister's own version of the 'Back To the Village National Campaign'.

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One FAQ to the Ass's inbox is: where are the Maoists are getting all that money to travel business class, stay at five star hotels and zip around Kathmandu in gas-guzzling SUVs. Well, the Pajero in question belongs to a political chap from Budanilkantha who didn't have the Rs 10 million that the Maoists were demanding from him as revolutionary tax so they took away his car instead. Party honchos also enjoy freebies at a nature resort in Budanilkantha among other fine hotels in the nation\'s capital.

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The controversy that just won't go away is of ambassador appointments. Not only did it fray fragile relations between the seven above-ground parties and the Maoists, but it has also created a major rift between Foreign Minister KP Oli and his UML comrades. No sooner had Makune jetted off on an Ozzie junket, Oli was left to fend off stiff opposition from acting gen-sec Amrit Bohara, shadowy foreign minister Jhalanath Khanal and home minister-in-waiting Iswor Pokhrel, who were rooting for their own candidate for ambassador to China. It isn't the Ass's business, but he wonders whether the fact that all three are married to Newari women has anything to do with it. The trio even went crying to complain about Oli to PKD.

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Don't think the Fearsome One lent a sympathetic ear to these tattlers because his party has itself been gunning for its candidate to be ambassador to one of the Big Three: United States, India or China. It hasn't dawned on the comrades that none of the three countries will accept a Government of Nepal (GOON) agreement for a Maoist emissary, least of all China. So it looks like His Awesomeness will have to settle for second-echelon postings like Denmark, France and Korea.

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Talking about goonlike behaviour, Nepal 1 Numero Uno, Nalini Singh, was literally at the receiving end of a backlash from a reporter after the reporter refused to eat Nalini's shoe when offered. Said reporter also landed an uppercut on N\'s jaw. Ok, girls, let's keep it in the newsroom. Don't want to spark off another street riot.

ass@nepalitimes.com



LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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