Nepali Times
KUNDA DIXIT
Under My Hat
We’re supersonic

KUNDA DIXIT


PARIS -A new private international airline from Nepal has expressed an interest in acquiring hand-me-down Concordes from British Airways and Air France this year to augment its fleet ahead of the Destitution Nepal Year 2004, informed sources told CNN.

"This may be the right time for us to get the 12 supersonic jets since our tourism industry has so much catching up to do," the informed source said at the Paris Air Show which begins this week. Airline industry insiders say this will enable tourists to fly to Nepal twice as fast as they fly to any other place in the Asia-Pacific region. Passengers will have to take a two-hour rickshaw ride to the airport during Nepal bandhs for their three-minute roundtrip Super-Quickie Mountain Flight at Mach 2. The planes will also be deployed to upgrade flights in the domestic sector so that travel time is drastically reduced. ("Ladies and gentlemen, this is the flight deck. Welcome aboard this one o'clock Concorde shuttle to Pokhara, as you may have noticed we have just become airborne and are shattering the sound barrier. If you can still hear me, our flying time today will be approximately fifty-five seconds. Flight crew, prepare for arrival.")

Until the Concordes arrive, however, domestic airlines have announced further belt-tightening and stopped serving refreshments on board. They have also stopped the distribution of cotton for earplugs because some hungry passengers on Nepalganj flights were observed eating them. Domestic airlines announced further austerity measures this week under which they would no longer provide barf bags on flights. Airline sources told CNN it will be possible for queasy passengers to ask the flight attendant to open the emergency exit if they can't hold it back any longer. However, under the Warsaw Convention, there is a charge for every inflight opening of the exits to jettison gastric contents. Cash payments must be made in advance.

The rising price of aviation fuel has also prompted a Nepali company to launch the world's first airline to operate a fleet of gliders. Haba Dari Airways Pvt Ltd, based in Baglung, will have daily direct connections to destinations within Nepal. "Our fares are very competitive because we don't have any fuel costs," said CEO, Captain Badal. The gliders will use prevailing winds and Himalayan convection currents to transport passengers quietly and comfortably. The inaugural flight to Jomsom last week had to make an emergency landing in Urumqi because of adverse weather conditions.

Meanwhile, security has been further tightened at the Tribhuban Airtight Airport to apprehend any viruses that may be trying to sneak into the kingdom without visas. Masked gunmen have been posted at the bottom of the ramp to apprehend any suspicious-looking micro-organisms. There are hostile immigration officials who will try their best to make the germs feel unwelcome in Nepal followed by accustomed officials downstairs who will carry out aggressive antibody searches. Then, there are two armoured personnel carriers parked permanently outside the airport with their 45mm cannon at the ready. It is therefore highly unlikely that the SARS virus can ever get into the kingdom, government sources said.


LATEST ISSUE
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(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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