Nepali Times
KUNDA DIXIT
Under My Hat
Mt Everest Prawn Crackers

KUNDA DIXIT


Unbeknownst to most of us, there is a national crisis building up right under our noses, and unless the government acts immediately to resolve this issue, Nepal as we know it will cease to exist. I am, of course, speaking of the acute shortage of names for our institutions and businesses. Already, the number of new companies being registered in Nepal has fallen sharply because our entrepreneurs can't find names and trademarks for them. If we don't explore ways out of this names shortfall pronto, it will ipso facto have a serious sine qua non for our quo vadis, not to mention on our status quo and, even more importantly, on our terra incognita.

Mt Everest is an all-time favourite, and we are fast running out of things to call Mt Everest. Mt Everest Steel Rods, Mt Everest Higher Secondary English-Medium Residential Boarding School and Academy, Mt Everest Ghee Udyog, Mt Everest Prawn Cracker Industries, Mt Everest Restaurant and Bar, Mt Everest Communications for STD, IDD and DDT, Mt Everest Brand Chewing Tobacco, Mt Everest Deep Tubewell Drilling Pvt Ltd (slogan: "We dig you from the top of the highest mountain to the bottom of the deepest hole").

So, if you are thinking of getting into the noodle business, then naming it Mt Everest is out of the question. Besides, according to the Ministry of Commerce and Taxonomy, it is mandatory in this country to have instant noodles brands consisting of one monosyllabic word repeated twice, like Wai-Wai, Min-Min, or Ra-Ra. Let me quickly assure prospective noodle-makers that they need not feel restricted, there are oodles of names for noodles still lying unused, and they all come with ready-made mottos: Meow-Meow ("Even your cat will love it!"), Ha-Ha ("Probably the world's funniest noodles"), or Ba-Ba ("The favourite noodles of the black sheep in every family").

Another highly popular brand name is "Sherpa". My friend Tashi Zangbu says no one asked him if they could borrow his surname, but Sherpa has been snapped up faster than any other ethnic group. Already, there are Sherpa pick-up trucks, Sherpa health soaps, Sherpa safety matches, and even a Sherpa brand muesli. Since Nepal is a multi-ethnic country, this opens up a whole new arena of nomenclature for the manufacturing and service industries: Chhetri brand ketchup, Tharu brand photocopy paper, Bahun dropsy-buster mustard oil, Lama Vegetarian Momo and Fastfood Franchise, KC's AC-DC Adapters. Which brings me to the acute name shortage in the domestic airline industry, since there are now a few thousand airlines registered. But even here, there is hope because we are lucky to have the entire Hindu pantheon available to us. After all, if we can have Buddha Air, there is no reason why there shouldn't be Hanuman Air Lines, Pushpak Biman, or Air Yamaraj. And the in-flight service can always consist of Bow-Wow noodles ("What's good for your dog is good for you.")


LATEST ISSUE
638
(11 JAN 2013 - 17 JAN 2013)


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