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I am not a rebel

Tuesday, August 30th, 2016

saralaFrom the Nepali Press

Sarala Gautam in, 7 August

I do not need to be a rebel, I just want to live each day as it comes. I carve my own destiny, decide for myself what I do with my life.

I did not need any special protection from family or society, I did not whine about the odds being stacked up against me, I decided to fight back with my work. It hurt when some couldn’t take it and hit back at me, but it made me stronger.

My female friends often tease me: “Wonder what kind of man you’ll get to marry.” Others urge me: “Enjoy life, don’t bother to get married.” And some commiserate: “You’ve done right, marriage is hell.”

sssAt Vipassana, a young woman shared her thoughts with me: “I searched for happiness everywhere. At 20, I looked for a boy friend. I thought I’d find it in marriage. At 22, I had a son and thought I’d be happy. I didn’t find it. Today, I have found happiness within myself. I will not let anyone take it away from me.” She asked me why I wasn’t married. “I have loved, but marriage didn’t happen,” I said, and she replied: “You did right. That is why you are so confident and radiant. Married women look perpetually anxious.”

Why is that? Why do married women look harried? It’s surprising, isn’t it, that as women we have only two options: fly free, or be chained to a marriage.

Another roommate confided: “It hasn’t even been a year since I got married but I am stressed all the time. I have to support my husband’s dreams, and there is a pile of expectations from his family on my head. I have no time for my own dreams.”

We have one life to enjoy and experience. We have to plant our happiness and let the branches entwine those we love. Let’s make our little worlds happy, there is no time to rebel.

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